5 Steps to Self-Compassion for AAPI Individuals

5 Visual Steps on Actionable Steps to Practicing Self-Care

As AAPI individuals, we face cultural expectations and challenges, shaped by family, society, and internalized stigma. What may seem like simple steps toward self-compassion for many in Western cultures can feel daunting for us due to our upbringing and the values we’ve been taught. Cultivating self-compassion requires deep intention, care, and the recognition that it is a long journey, as McLean Hospital talks about. With this in mind, here are five actionable steps to help you navigate this process with understanding and grace, knowing that healing takes time.

Acknowledge Your Emotions Without Judgment

In many AAPI communities, openly expressing emotions is discouraged, leading instead to suppressing feelings. However, self-compassion begins with recognizing and understanding our emotions—especially when it feels uncomfortable. It’s important to remember that the journey to self-acceptance doesn’t require immediacy, especially when it comes to acknowledging emotions. Instead, it’s about allowing yourself to feel them and taking note of them as they arise, without judgment.

 Identify the Emotion You’re Feeling

Every time an emotion arises, take note of it and try to identify its root cause. Think of  Inside Out, which of the five core emotions: joy, anger, sadness, fear, or disgust, do you think you’re feeling? It’s okay if you can’t immediately pinpoint the cause. It can take time to feel confident in doing so. Sometimes it takes talking with a close friend or someone in your support system to understand where the emotion is coming from. Pay attention to physical cues or sensations, like tense shoulders, a tight stomach, or a racing heartbeat. These cues, along with other steps, can help you identify your emotions, even if it’s unclear at first.

If you’re interested in understanding how emotions and physical sensations are connected, The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk offers valuable insights. While the book primarily focuses on trauma, it also explores how emotions manifest in the body, which can be particularly helpful in navigating mental health, especially in the AAPI community, where it is often stigmatized.

Redefine Success Beyond External Expectations

AAPI cultures often teach that success is defined by family, academic, or societal achievements. For children of immigrants, having observed their parents’ focus on these goals, there can be an internalized belief that success is solely about meeting external expectations. However, the process of redefining success based on our own core values, sometimes even including a shift in our career, can be an important step toward true fulfillment. This shift allows for greater self-compassion and understanding, giving us the space to navigate the world on our own terms, free from the pressure to conform to societal norms that may not align with our personal needs and aspirations.

Prioritize Rest and Rejuvenation

AAPI cultures often emphasize hard work and resilience, sometimes at the expense of physical health. Many of our elders worked long hours, believing it was the only way to provide. For children of immigrants, having witnessed the toll those long hours took on their parents, there can be an internalized belief that constant productivity is necessary. This can make it difficult to distinguish between true rest and the pressure to stay constantly busy. Rest isn’t just about taking a break from work; it’s about giving your body and mind the time they need to recharge. True rest can take many forms—physical rest, mental rest, or even emotional self-care. It’s about stepping away from the constant push to do more and allowing yourself to recharge without guilt. Prioritizing your well-being is not a luxury—it’s a necessity. Recognizing the importance of rest and making time for it is a long journey, but it’s crucial. Without proper rest, the constant grind can lead to burnout, exhaustion, and stress, making it harder to care for others. Rest is essential not only for your physical health but for your mental and emotional well-being as well.

Seek Professional Support When Needed

In many AAPI communities, seeking mental health support is stigmatized. Understand that seeking help is not a sign of weakness but an act of self-compassion. Therapy or counseling can help you navigate challenges and provide coping tools, making it a courageous step in taking care of yourself. Knowing when you need to reach out is an important part of this process. While it may seem daunting, taking the first step toward mental health support is crucial for your well-being. It’s okay to ask for help—doing so is a sign of strength, not failure.

DearTherapy Invitation

Comment down below one step you are going to take to prioritizing your self-care?